“The Melting Watch” by Salvador Dali
I am again, using my beloved metaphor. In this post it refers to decisions about timing in our lives. I started this blog as my own feelings, my gut intuition, told me it was the right time. The time had come, after continuous hits on my snooze button, to heed the alarm. I realized the clock was now precise, when after previous attempts to start writing, words seemed forced and off. No matter how I tried, they wouldn’t flow naturally, but instead had to be pulled out and awkwardly put to print, but now suddenly, they decided to spring from my fingers. I find I need to do very little editing, save some spelling and change of a word here and there. Its natural, it flows unobstructed, because, the time is right. I am sure it is the same for all writers, poets, journal keepers, our hearts just seem to know, and they will tell us.
Most of us do what we do, as we have things that need expressing. Some took place long ago, some are recent, many are ongoing. What they all have in common, is that they need to be said. Whether it is advice that may help others in the same, be they former or current, situation, or it is for a “cleansing of the soul” to help heal old hurts and make peace with blocked out memories, once and for all.
I, like many, started years ago by writing in a journal. I actually still have it. When I read it now I see the 19 year old girl who was struggling to find her way, that many years later, did. I was always strong, though at the time did not think so. Again, all who struggle think they are weak, but they are always the strongest. What they don’t realize, as I did not, is that to struggle is to fight, and it is strength that gives you the will to fight. To fight is to find your way, to find your way always brings some peace, not total, as any conflict has a price, but enough to bring at least some degree of happiness.
My first journal spoke of dreaming of gaining my freedom, how I would do it, and who would be included in my new world. As it went on, it talked of course of hurts, disappointments, struggles, mine with many family dysfunctions which manifested in anxiety to which this day I fight against. As all of us who express in writing, as the years go on we usually see growth, or sometimes we see a deeper sinking into despair. I was blessed, by God I suppose, with an unbending fighting spirit, that would not allow me to sink, so, here I am. My journey into this world of expression began long ago, but was kept locked in my journals, diaries, poetry, sketch pad, only now to be expressed. Some posts will be lighthearted and short, some long and from the darkside. No more snooze button for me, time to get up and face the day. So, let’s down our coffee, get out that door, and feel the sunshine.
This poem I wrote after that early struggle, basically asking myself for what I needed, and realizing we are our own greatest strength.
If I was hungry,
would you fill my plate?
If I was thirsty,
would you be my drink?
If I was lonely,
would you be my friend.
If I was frightened,
would you hold my hand?
If I was angry,
would you calm my soul?
If I stumbled and fell,
would you help me up?
If I flew too high,
would you bring me back to earth?
If I wanted to scream,
would you show me how to smile?
If I couldn’t stop the tears,
would you dry my cheeks?
If failures slowed my progress,
would you push me to succeed?
If my heart was broken.
would you piece it back together?
If I tugged upon your sleeve,
would you ask me what I needed?
If darkness loomed before me,
would you lead me to the light?
If the load became too heavy,
would you lift it from my shoulders?
If unkind words befell me,
would your gentle voice erase them?
If my world should end tomorrow,
would you be forever with me?
Copyright 2018 SA Klukiewicz Image copyright: pinterest.co.uk